


Porn is just plain funny.

by CaffeinatedMoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Painplay, Sleepy Cuddles, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 01:16:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2489063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedMoose/pseuds/CaffeinatedMoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel stood in front of him, hands gesturing as he spoke. “I’ve been studying you humans, how you interact. It’s fascinating. One thing I don’t get is how silly they act in pornography. Totally unnatural, but I’ve heard that adult movies such as those sometimes portray people’s fantasies, something they wish they could have or do. What do you think, Dean?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What do you think, Dean?

**Author's Note:**

> This is somewhat of a choose your own adventure story.  
> Well, actually, part way through, I couldn't decide what I wanted Dean to say, so I wrote both endings that came to mind.
> 
> After the first chapter:  
> For the hilarious NSFW ending, read chapter two.  
> For a hurt/comfort snuggle ending, read chapter three.  
> I hope you'll read both anyway.

Dean sat at the table in their hotel room, reading from a large book to do some research on the latest beastie they were hunting. He didn’t notice the flutter of large wings behind him, until two arms draped around his shoulders, and a low, gruff voice spoke in his ear. “How’s the research going, Dean?”

“You have to stop doing that!” Dean slammed the book shut and threw up his hands in frustration. He leaned his head back to glare up at Castiel, who simply grinned and planted a kiss on his lips. Dean kissed back, then rolled his eyes, leaning back against the angel. “Haven’t found much yet. You?”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed, his amused grin becoming more of a soft smirk. “Well…I’ve been doing some research of my own, on a different subject. Why don’t you take a break, and I’ll tell you about it?” he stepped back towards the bed, hoping Dean would follow. 

Dean nodded and stretched as he stood, heading for the counter where he poured himself a glass of whiskey. He tipped back a large sip as he followed Castiel, plopping down at the foot of the bed. “What’s this research you’ve been doing?”

Castiel stood in front of him, hands gesturing as he spoke. “I’ve been studying you humans, how you interact. It’s fascinating. One thing I don’t get is how silly they act in pornography. Totally unnatural, but I’ve heard that adult movies such as those sometimes portray people’s fantasies, something they wish they could have or do. What do you think, Dean?”

Dean stared up at Castiel, shook his head and shrugged, baffled by the strange questions the angel could come up with. “How would I know, Cas? I never have time to watch porn. When I have any down time, I’ve got you all over me instead.”

Castiel looked quite pleased that he could fill Dean’s time with such joy. “What about that video of the pizza man and the babysitter?” There was a hint of jealousy in his eyes. They hadn’t been together back then, but the angel had still been interested. “I remember being so confused by that at the time, but I’ve thought more into it lately, and I realized that maybe the babysitter secretly enjoyed being spanked. Some strange humans genuinely enjoy being humiliated and given pain. Strange creatures.”

“I…suppose they do.” Dean glanced down at his glass, staring into its amber depths. Before he could take another sip, Castiel had silently stepped closer, nearly bumping against Dean’s knees. He leaned down, nearly at eye level, glancing at the glass of whiskey, then back to Dean. “You do enjoy pouring poisons down your throat. Could it be that you also like other forms of pain, like the babysitter? Is that why you go through life day after day, looking for trouble?”


	2. I learned that from the pizza man.

Dean jumped at the sudden intrusion of personal space, leaning back so he could sip his drink in peace. “N-no. Of course not. I wouldn’t ever act like that. I hope you weren’t thinking of bending me over your knee if I said yes.” He shook his head quickly, and tossed back the rest of the whiskey, telling himself that it was the alcohol making his face feel warm. 

The angel took the empty glass from him and set it on the bedside table. “Oh, but that’s not what your elevated heart rate is saying. It’s telling me that you do like to be roughed up once in a while.” Dean just looked even more flustered while the angel stared him down. He’d never admit to it, but had indeed thought about Castiel on top of him, dominating him entirely. They hadn’t done much yet, nothing like that, but he wouldn’t mind at all if it happened. “How long has it been since someone made you feel like that?” Castiel’s gaze was unblinking, waiting for Dean’s response.

“Well…never, really. I just think about it sometimes.” It definitely wasn’t just the whiskey warming up his face by now, as Castiel nodded once. 

“What do you think about, Dean?” The angel smiled in a mischievous way, knowing he was embarrassing Dean, and loving every minute of it.

“I think about…you. You, on top of me. Having your way with me.” Dean’s voice got quieter with every word, hoping that maybe the powerful angel would drop the subject.

Instead, the angel just carried on as if this were an investigation, and he was doing a serious interview. “I see.” His grin widened as he stood up to his full height. “Oh, Dean. You should have told me if you wanted to play rough. I’ve gathered plenty of knowledge on that topic.” With a quick push to the shoulder, he knocked Dean onto his back.

Dean flailed at him and scooted back on the bed, but Castiel grabbed him by the ankle and flipped him over onto his stomach. Before he could turn back, the angel was holding down his legs with a knee, while he brought his hand firmly down onto Dean’s rear. Dean scrabbled at the sheets, his low voice crying out in pain. “Fuck! Man, I said I’m not into that!” Castiel shook his head, and swung down his hand again, alternating to the other cheek. This time the man’s cries were strangled, and higher. Dean had stopped trying to get away, and was instead gripping the sheets, his head down as he braced for another impact. His faint panting could be heard. “Please, Cas...”

“Please, what, Dean?” Castiel glanced up at Dean, while his fingertips ran over the man’s rear gently, giving it a squeeze. The caress made Dean squirm and bury his face against the pillow. He turned his head only enough to make sure his one word would be heard. “Again.”

The angel’s eyes lit up with glee as he spanked Dean twice more before giving him a rest. Each time, Dean cried out so wonderfully. He was so clearly enjoying it, and Cas was enjoying watching him. Again, he rubbed at Dean’s sore bum, before grabbing hold of the sides of Dean’s pants and yanking them down, along with his underwear. 

“Cas, what are you –“ Dean reached for his jeans, attempting to pull them up again, but Castiel swatted his hands away, instead gripping his hip and nudging him up. “On your hands and knees, Dean.” The man grumbled, but obeyed. Castiel knelt beside him and raised his hand again, coming down with a smack onto bare skin. Dean cried out even higher than before, louder than ever. And Castiel kept going, with three more sharp smacks, each harder than the last. Dean’s upper body flopped down to the bed, clutching at the pillow and pulling up the sheets until they were bunched around him. Each strike sent fire through him, stinging so sharply that he wasn’t sure if he could take it. But at the same time, he was loving it. Each sharp jolt went through his nerves and straight down between his legs. His cries were starting to sound more like high pitched moans. 

After the fourth smack, Castiel looked up at Dean again, as he reached beneath the hunter. “See? You do enjoy this.” He gripped Dean’s hard cock firmly, squeezing, before running his fingers up the shaft to the tip where a bead of moistness had leaked out. Dean couldn’t even deny it as he moaned out low, pressing into the angel’s hand, glaring up at him when Castiel pulled away. The angel licked the droplet of pre-cum from his fingers, then continued to lick over his palm, the moisture helping as he grabbed Dean’s cock again, stroking him slowly. Dean gasped and held still, eyes sliding shut for a moment. Green eyes flung open again as pain shot through him. Castiel had struck his backside again, pulling a yelp from him. After another slap, Castiel paused to observe him again. He seemed to be getting harder and wetter, cock throbbing as pre-cum trickled freely down the shaft. He smiled and continued to jerk Dean, each spanking forcing his cock through his hand quicker. Between hits, Cas would stroke him more slowly, and every smack brought Dean a sharp burst of pleasure. 

Dean bit down on his lip, each bout of pain and pleasure bringing him closer to the edge, the sounds coming from his throat purely aroused groans. The angel picked up the pace, noticing Dean’s heightened pleasure. Dean growled as the pain became almost too much to bear, but he withstood it. He was so close. When an especially hard spanking came down his abused flesh, he cried out loudly, coming all over the sheets. Cas smoothed his hands over Dean’s cock, but did not spank him again, stroking him until he was finished. 

Dean rolled to the side and collapsed, sprawling out on the bed, content. He sighed happily. Cas smiled and tugged Dean’s pants off the rest of the way so he could get comfortable, and pulled off his own clothing. He did his best to clean and straighten out the sheets before crawling into bed behind Dean. His warm body soothed the stinging of the others man’s bottom, causing Dean to curl into him. Castiel kissed Dean’s cheek, arms slipping around him. He felt Dean drift off to sleep, and smiled, holding him close and watching over him.


	3. Let me make you feel alive.

Dean jumped at the sudden intrusion of personal space, leaning back so he could sip his drink in peace, his expression turning troubled. “I go looking for monsters, because the thrill of the hunt makes me feel something. When I get gashed up in a fight – you won’t believe this – but it’s the best part. The pain sears through me and I feel alive. You have no idea what it’s like to live like this every day. I can’t even leave the life. I grew up with it. And people need me.” He slowly glanced down at his arms, covered in scars. Most of them were from when he needed to prove to someone that he wasn’t possessed, the silver test, but some were self-inflicted. He just needed a jolt, to feel something again.

Castiel frowned and took the glass away from him, setting it on the bedside table. When he returned, he sat down next to Dean, gathering the hunter into his arms. One hand rubbed gently at Dean’s back, while the other caressed his face. “But Dean…don’t I make you happy?”

Dean relaxed into his angel’s arms limply, not even looking up as he spoke. “Of course you do, Cas. Don’t ever think that you don’t make me happy. I wouldn’t love you so much if you didn’t.” He gave a small smile, before his face dropped again. “It’s just…all those people I’ve seen die. All the times we thought we’d stopped the big boss. Everything we’ve been through. We can never save everyone, and it never stops. Always something out there. I’m so tired, Cas. I’m tired of this life. How am I supposed to live with all this death and darkness around me?”

Castiel smiled in return, his hand moving to Dean’s head, scratching his scalp gently and stroking his hair. He thought for a moment, sighing softly. He gazed across the room, looking at nothing, but thinking as Dean did, about those people they couldn’t save. Being an angel, he had been good at detaching himself from the pain, but after being on Earth for a few years now, he had started to understand this feeling of remorse and loss. “You can’t save everyone, Dean.” He kissed the top of Dean’s head, then tipped his face upwards to look into those beautiful emerald eyes, which were so full of sadness. He had to think of something, something to bring life back into those eyes.

“Let me make you feel alive again, Dean.” He gathered his angelic energy deep within him, and placed his hands on the other man’s face, and kissed him. As their lips touched, Castiel let go of a small burst of his power, letting it surge through Dean. 

Dean gasped sharply, quickly grabbing onto Castiel’s shoulders, not wanting to break the kiss for anything. The shock jolted through his veins, his muscles, every fiber of his being. It touched him from the inside, and out. His eyes glowed brightly for a moment, then faded again. 

When Dean slowly pulled away, his eyes looked brighter. He was panting, as if Cas had done much more than just kiss him. There was an exhilarated smile on his face. “What was that? It felt great. I feel strong. I feel alive.” He looked like a child who had just been told by its mother than they were going to Disney Land.

Castiel smiled, hugging Dean close. “That was a small burst of angelic energy. Probably kickstarted your system and elevated your endorphin levels. I can give you more, if you wish.”

Dean nodded quickly. “Oh, hell yes. I’d kiss you all day if every kiss felt like that.”

Castiel shook his head. “It can be dangerous in large doses. Buuut, I think you can handle a bit more.” He withdrew his arms from around Dean, pushing hard on his shoulder to knock him back on the bed. He turned and crawled over Dean. “I’ll give you whatever you need, Dean, to make you happy.” He laughed as Dean pulled him down for another angel-boosted kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Don't just give kudos. Leave comments!  
> They help me improve my writing!


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